Depthless Hunger

Chapter 109: The Balance of Human and Monster

The dark waters ejected Kai onto the island, no matter how he tried to resist. Either he had passed his mental limits or some part of him wanted this. All of the confused forces within him must have reached a critical point that required a resolution.

He stumbled through the glassy sand to the central circle. The ghostly statues of the monsters rose easier than before, responding to his presence. This time, he could feel his human strength more strongly inside himself. This place was just a representation created by his mind, not truth. There had to be some way to bring both halves of himself into balance.

Nothing leapt to mind, his two halves as distant as before. Or was the problem that they weren't halves? If he needed to perfectly balance both sides of himself, he would have a hard path to walk.

Perhaps the answer lay in the monstrous force in the center of the circle. Kai approached hesitantly, but nothing leapt out at him. In fact, whatever presence had been there before seemed to be quiet. He stared down into the sand, willing himself to see more. The sand began to pull away, but it only formed a pool of dark water that reflected his own face.

What was he supposed to do now?

It might be that he needed to embrace the monster within himself. It could be that he needed to strengthen his mental discipline and bring it under control. Or perhaps the balance he had imagined earlier. There were a thousand potential patterns he could invent.

All of them equally frustrating, because it didn't matter. He didn't care what he was, he just wanted the strength to make a difference. Monster or human were just irritating labels, but he needed to balance them according to some cosmic system that probably hated him just as much as every other system of power he'd encountered.

Unless...

His mental world began to contract as he pondered the idea that it really was all arbitrary. He was the same person no matter whether he was technically considered a human or a monster. It wasn't that he need to balance human and monster sides, or choose between the two, the truth was that both labels were wrong.

As Kai walked around the island, it all began to dissolve. No representations of the monster essences, no strength within himself, no dark pool at the center. All just mental illusions that could easily lead him astray.

He stared down into the dark pool and realized that he had always been the only one there. Just like people could tell themselves that their worst impulses were actually some evil spirit tempting them, he had split himself into pieces. His savagery was so much simpler to dismiss when it was a monster inside of him instead of part of himself. That way he could pretend that he was still human, when he should have been realizing that being human meant nothing.

The last of the illusion dissolved and Kai realized that he was standing back in the city. Not human, not monster, something different. That wasn't a fact that made him special, it was irrelevant.

Before he could lose his clarity, Kai drained the flask in his hand. His body began to tremble, but this time he didn't fall. No, it felt good. He'd been fighting against himself for so long, now his power swept together in a great rush. His Physique transformed rapidly as it embraced the new unity of his nature.

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When it was over, he stared down at his body uncertainly. He was still covered in blood, but his skin was whole underneath. Other than no longer feeling in conflict with himself, he didn't notice many changes. It did seem like he was more muscular and he was seeing the street from a slightly higher angle, but it wasn't the radical transformation he had been hoping for.

Still, when he examined himself with his spiritual sight, he saw a rush of new power.

Name: Kai Clanless

Total Power: 122

Cultivation: Qi Condensation 65% (17)

Physique Level: E-0 (80)

Soul Level: 5 (25)

Monstrous Hunger - VII (eta)

Direboar's Strength - V (epsilon)

Aquagorgon's Health - V (epsilon)

Gomodo's Stamina - IV (delta)

Isulfr's Bite - II (beta)

Rockspider's Claw - IV (delta)

??? (???)

>

Just as he'd hoped, breaking through to E-rank Physique had catapulted him far past the 100 power barrier. Direboar's Strength and all his other traits had become significantly stronger as well, particularly those reinforcing his body. It was still easy to think about them as his monstrous characteristics, but he knew better now. There was no more Direboar, only him.

His navel-gazing was interrupted by the sounds of screams coming from the defenders. Kai ran into the city, casually swatting aside a few monsters in his path. The giant had continued moving forward, but hadn't made it far: his internal vision must have happened in an instant.

He had expected to see the monstrous eagle tormenting the defenders atop the walls, but they seemed to be looking downward. Assuming there were pockets of defenders trapped below, Kai ran in that direction. His spiritual gaze revealed little, maybe a few weak symbols dissipating...

Suddenly he saw Inafay in front of him. She was barely on her feet, intending to go down fighting against a monster charging toward her. He acted before he could think about it, grasping the monster's antlers and pulling it back.

It jerked surprisingly sharply, almost breaking the monster's neck. Kai twisted it further to smash it against the wall, then hurled the corpse into the nearest monsters. Maybe it was his imagination, but they seemed to flee from him in a way monsters never had before.

"No way!" Inafay stared up at him and it did seem she needed to crane her neck more than before.

"Are you alright?" he asked. His voice was raspy, but normal enough.

"Forget about me! The flying one is dead and the defenders are holding the gate, but that giant can still smash everything. I don't know what you've done to yourself, but go kick its ass!"

Kai couldn't help but smile. He didn't leave Inafay immediately, instead making sure that she got to a street that had a clear shot to the next gate. Soon after that, he turned south and looked toward the last threat to Monskon City.

The giant looked no less imposing than before. As slow as it moved, it had destroyed a path almost all the way through the lower city and it would soon be at the gate. No one else came to join the fight and no hunters were coming to save them. If he didn't stop the incursion here, no one would.

He didn't roar like he might once have, just took a deep breath, crouched, and then hurled himself into the air. Houses flashed past his vision before he collided with the monster's chest. His impact didn't break through its armor, but it did push the creature off its feet and send it flying back down the central path.

When it tried to regain its footing, Kai clawed at its head and was glad to see the massive armored skull jerk back. Blow after blow, he drove it out of the gate and further from the city. Near the outer wall almost nothing was left alive, just rubble and corpses. The longer he could push it back, the better the chance of-

One of the monster's massive arms hit him in the side, driving him to the ground. Kai slammed into the dirt but was up the next second. His new E-rank Physique might not be able to shrug off a monster this powerful, but it could no longer crush him. It had regained its footing and now turned toward him as if recognizing a threat.

Kai charged, and this time he chose to roar.