Chapter 98: You Can Never Be Free With Him
(From Blue's Perspective)
"Ah, dear, I know it's because of you," she said with a faint smile. "He loves you more than anything else."
"Love?" I muttered even without myself knowing.
"Of course!" she said enthusiastically. "You behave as if... He didn't tell you he loves you?"
'He did, but that time, he was not in his right mind. But well, he truly loves me. It's clear. But it's weird to say it out loud right now in front of Mother for some reason. Perhaps because of how similar she looks to Demetrius, it feels like I am saying it to him.'
"Did you tell him you love him?"
I did not say anything. What was there for me to say? I was not ready yet. To be honest, there were a lot of things that happened within a short time. And I could not say that I was being sincere since the beginning.
"You know you can be honest with me, Blue," she patted on my back. "Even if you don't like my son, I can understand..."
"No, it's not like that!" I said quickly. I liked him. No, it was not just liking him. I loved him. But it was not the same all the time. "Uh, I think I should say this to Demetrius as well.
I don't know how you will feel about it, but I'm going to say it anyway. The night Demetrius brought me here, I actually wanted to run away then. I didn't know him. How can I just follow a stranger? But I followed him. I don't know why, I just did.
He threatened me that if I ran away, he would catch me eventually and bring me with him. After he brought me here, I was scared of him. I wanted to run away from him. Trust me, I even considered every possible ways to get away from him. But in the end, I could not do anything. I even put up an act to like him.
It was like that in the beginning. After the wedding, for the first time, I actually felt a bit attracted to him. Then as days went by, I slowly grew fond of him and eventually fell so much for him that I can't even bear to separate from him even for a moment. He always treated me so kindly and is always considerate of me. But I still could not accept his kindness without suspicions.
I mean, why would someone go that far for a person?"
"He was really being sincere all this while. But it took me long to understand. I even pretended to like him," I said. It was hard to keep my thoughts in check too for a while and sometimes, he even heard what I was saying in my mind. But he never really made it hard for me or got angry at me. "And now...
now I'm feeling guilty. I don't know... I can't believe I..."
"If you think of normal reaction, then there is nothing to worry about or feel guilty about," she said with a serious and reassuring look on her face. "From what I understand, he literally forced you to come here and basically locked you up, just like a bird in a cage. Blue, no matter how you look at it, it's not freedom. He might love you with all his might, but you're not free.
And if you want to stay with him, there is no other way. Just because he is my son, I can't say he is a perfect man. Yes, everyone has flaws, but if you look at his behavior, they are weird. Tell me what kind of man he is. Be honest."
"Possessive, jealous, protective, but supportive, sweet, cute..."
"The last three- I can't imagine him since I have never been able to see him like that," she said. "But the first three- he can surely be like that. You see, he is not at a primary level. You know what I mean?"
I nodded. I had accepted this since I accepted his love and my feelings- if I was with him, I could never be free. When he said that if I wanted to leave him I could- it was a lie. Because he would never let me leave. He wanted me to be with him even if it meant to tie me up. But at least, he was trying to change a bit.
"His traits are not possible. So, you can't possibly think that he will love you like a normal man. And from what I can see, he loves you so extremely that if something happens to you, he won't hesitate going to heaven or hell to bring you back."
"... I guess I better keep on loving him," I said. "But can you tell me one thing? I didn't fall for him at first sight, neither at second sight... But I have fallen for him eventually. Is it really okay?
I mean, he fell for me before, but I still doubted him and then..."
"It's okay. It's more than okay," she said. "I'm glad that you did not like him at first. The way he brought you here, it wasn't supposed to make anyone like him in the first place. And I bet he knew about it too well. But he still wanted to make you his.
Judging his personality, it's no surprise. But it's up to you if you truly want to be with him. You can break the mark, you know."
"What?"
"You're a human, not a werewolf. Marks are impossible to break between werewolves, but that's not the same case with you. It's hard, but not impossible."
"I... I don't want that," I said. "I want to be with him. It's my choice, so even if it's wrong, I'm fine with it."
"I will support you no matter what you choose. My husband was not really an amazing person. But I loved him regardless of his flaws. At least, he was sincere and loyal. Demetrius is a lot different than Ajax, but I'm glad that you support him."
I looked ahead of myself at the asters. The starry shaped flowers were in white and violet. They were refreshing to look at. A smile curved on my lips. I felt relieved that I had been honest, truly honest.
I would tell Demetrius about everything as well. I did not care if he would hate me for it. Perhaps he had already known about this. But still, it was my responsibility to let him know about everything.
"By the way, did my son show you or tell you about his demonic ability?"
"... No... I haven't seen anything like that."
"I see. I don't know if it is a dangerous ability since there is nothing written about it in books. I mean, it is written that werewolves with black eyes possess demonic powers, but it is not said what kind of power that is."
I kept quiet. Perhaps I knew what kind of power it was. I had my suspicion that Demetrius could not be normal. Mind reading could never be a normal power. But now I understood. His demonic power was mind reading.
I could understand why he did not tell me about it. He did not want me to feel disgusted or hate him. He was always worried about it. But how could I make him understand that I could never hate him, not when he was being so nice to me?
"Mother, there is one thing I was thinking about... Ruby, my personal maid said that she never saw any king or queen not having harems before us... But..."
"Ah that?" she chuckled. "Yes, my husband and I both had harems, but that was on name only. It's like a disgrace if a king or queen doesn't have a harem. It's odd, but it's reality. But my son doesn't care about it at all."
"Yeah, he told me this," I muttered. I was glad. Thank god that Demetrius was like that. I was not sure if I would be able to bear it if he had a harem, even if it was in name only. And I was sure that Dem would never allow me to have one as well. Not that I wanted...
I was satisfied with my sweet husband. "But I heard that werewolves can only...um... do it with their mates. Then..."
"There is a way for those with Alpha blood or those who are Alpha's mate to do it with multiple. There is a potion that allows them to do so."
"Oh...," I mumbled. Now that I thought about it, there were a lot of things I did not know about this world.
I should try as hard as I could to learn more. It would be good for both me and Demetrius. And I was really grateful to Mother for supporting me. I never had the chance to experience the love of a mother before since my own mother only showed me how to survive, not live. Now I was glad that Demetrius's mother accepted me and also treated me as his daughter.