I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

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◈ I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

──────

The Merger V

There is a short epilogue.

After arriving in Gibraltar, the mood across Ark City remained festive for some time.

Resources were scarce and food wasn’t abundant, but the citizens brought out all the items they had hoarded like precious treasures and splurged with reckless abandon.

“Well, it’s impossible to move any further, so might as well. What a heap of scrap...”

Do-hwa tapped the tip of her foot against BusaN’s forepaw. The hollow sound of metal echoed with a thunk.

The reverberating metallic sound rang on, scattering over the ocean as it faded into the blue.

“And so, a festival. Even a sated ghost glows brighter. We may as well enjoy our final banquet...”

Despite her words, Do-hwa did not actively participate in the festivities. Still, she didn’t seem particularly displeased by them either.

Was it just my imagination? Though the workload hadn’t differed much from previous cycles, she appeared to be in unusually good spirits this time around.

When asked why...

“Hah. When surrounded by clowns pouring their hearts and souls into foolishness, what good does it do to act serious by myself...?”

With that, she lightly kicked my shin. Unsurprisingly, no metallic sound reverberated from my leg.

“Hm,” Do-hwa mused quietly. She tilted her head, her slightly grayed hair slipping gently to the side. “Strange. It’s made of actual flesh and bone.”

Her muttered words, too, scattered into the ocean, sinking beneath the waves.

That was it.

Do-hwa wandered off somewhere, sipping wine.

I briefly considered following her, but her stride carried an air of firm refusal—a message that if I insisted on following, there’d be due resolve and payment. Eventually, I turned and wandered the festival grounds instead.

Once again, my life in this cycle was not destined to intertwine with hers.

As I walked, I passed by various people.

“Disciples of Mount Hua! This great calamity will surpass any tribulation we’ve faced before. We are now positioned at the edge of the sea, with no further ground to retreat to!”

The Sect Leader of Mount Hua spoke passionately, drawing fervent responses from the disciples.

“Oh! Truly! Just like the ancient general who made his last stand against Zhao!”

“And we are Mount Hua! This Ark is named BusaN! With the vast sea behind us and Twin Peaks before us, our position is truly one of a Heavenly Sanctuary—protected by mountains and water!”

“Ding! Heavenly Sanctuary effect activated: The morale of Mount Hua disciples has increased! All disciples’ critical hit rate rises by 30%.”

“Ding! Mount Hua’s Twenty-Four Plum Blossom Sword Formation – Last Stand Mode activated: Mount Hua disciples’ combat prowess has surged! Their attack power increases by 75%.”

“No, no...”

I passed by the Sect Leader (who had reverted to his rejuvenated, youthful form) flailing his arms in baffled flagellations while the disciples kept chanting ding noises and applying self-buffs.

“Are you sure it’s fine to use up all this firewood?”

“Yes. We saved it precisely for a day like this.”

“Hah. Normally, you act so frugal...”

“When climbing mountains, it’s better to avoid drinking too much water.”

At the signal fire pit, I overheard Nenet chatting as I walked past.

“Ugh, this... This might be my final masterpiece... Huff, phew... Huff... A latte, to calm my nerves while I finish it...”

At the edge of the breakwater, I passed Ah-yeon, who had set up her easel and was sipping café au lait.

“Done! Yes! Babel 200kg No Aura Challenge complete!”

“President, I’ve admired you for a long time!”

“Where did this fish come from...?”

“Can you at least tell me where this train was made?”

Faces passed, and I moved forward and onward.

After following wherever my feet led for some unknown amount of time, I eventually spotted a familiar back at a coastline.

“Ha-yul?”

“Ah...”

Ha-yul turned to look at me. Her golden eyes were as shadowy as the full moon reflected in the night sea.

“Undertaker.”

“Hey, Ha-yul.”

This cycle—our 690th, where we operated as a duo—Ha-yul had called me “Undertaker” more often than “oppa.”

Why had her habit of clinging with half-pronounced, affection-starved tones like “oppa” or “Dad” stopped this time around? Could it be that the barren wasteland deep in her heart had finally absorbed a bit of rainwater?

I hoped so.

“Night stroll?” she wondered then, interrupting my thoughts.

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Where’s everyone else?”

“I followed the shadows wherever my feet led and found you.”

“Oh.”

“Mind if I sit beside you?”

“Go ahead.”

I sat down beside her with a plop and only then did I notice something unusual.

Ha-yul’s lower body seemed frail. She was using an ordinary artificial leg where Do-hwa’s custom prosthetics should have been. Even a pair of crutches, unused for over a decade, lay neatly beside her.

“Hmm? What about your prosthetics? Are they in for repairs?”

“Mm.” Ha-yul shook her head. “I just... wanted to try walking without them.”

“Feeling sentimental?”

“Something like that.”

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The waves surged and receded.

For a while, we sat silently, side by side, gazing at the ocean under the night sky.

“Underta... Oppa.”

“Yeah?”

“When this world ends, do we just move on to the next one and start over?”

“That’s right.”

“You’ll find me in Fukuoka again, talk to the same me who’s trying to kill Jung Sang-guk, teach me how to use puppetry strings and master Aura, and...”

“......”

“I don’t want that,” Ha-yul said. She curled in on herself just slightly, wrapping her arms around her waist. “I don’t want that. After everything... After all we’ve been through together, after all the laughter... To forget it all, meet you again, and ask, ‘Who are you?’ To be wary of you, to start from scratch... That’s too cruel.”

The waves surged once more.

The seawater lapped at the foot of her artificial leg, but with no body heat of her own to supply it, she wouldn’t have felt the wave’s temperature.

Born under the shadow of Jung Sang-guk, a man who juggled power and double lives, Ha-yul had learned to walk through life dragging the weight of an emotional prosthesis.

Pretend it exists when it doesn’t.

Pretend it doesn’t exist when it does.

Do-hwa’s prosthetics supported her body, but they couldn’t heal the limp in her heart.

“If it’s all going to vanish... If it’s all going to disappear anyway, I’d rather you Time Seal—”

“Ha-yul.”

I softly patted her shoulder.

It was a signal that had been established long ago between us. Ha-yul opened her eyes wide, then slowly stretched out her arms toward me.

I picked her up and placed her on my lap. Luckily, I was still large enough to shield her small frame from the world, even for just a moment.

“There’s a philosopher named Plato.”n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

“......?”

“He once told an interesting story. That humans weren’t always what they are now. Originally, we were ‘merged beings.’”

“Merged beings?”

“Yeah. For instance, imagine you and me, locked in an embrace like this, but fused together as one.”

“Ew.”

“Two heads, four arms, four legs. Back then, humans didn’t walk on two legs like we do now. They rolled around like boulders, tumbling on all fours.”

“Ewwww.” Her usually impassive face scrunched up in distaste. “That’s gross.”

I chuckled. “Right? But one day, humans became so powerful they started to challenge the gods. So Zeus, the king of gods, struck them with his lightning and split them apart.”

“......”

“Every merged being was divided into two.”

Instead of splitting the heavens or shattering the earth, the god’s lightning merely divided humans.

“Some were split into two men, some into a man and a woman, and some into two women. Those who were separated became wanderers, destined to roam the earth in search of their other half for the rest of their lives.”

“For their whole lives?”

“For their whole lives. Humans who once dared to challenge the gods were reduced to this: creatures born incomplete, devoting their existence to mending the loneliness of their separation.”

“......”

“I’m not lonely, Ha-yul.”

I hugged her tightly.

“Truly lonely people are those who don’t know where their other half is. Or those who know but can never meet them again. But I’m not like that.”

“......”

“No matter how fragmented my heart becomes, I’ll always have my companions. Ten pieces, ten friends. You’re one of them, Ha-yul. No matter when, no matter where, I can knock on the door of that house in Fukuoka and know there’s a puppeteer with chestnut-colored hair inside. Isn’t that a blessing?”

“But...”

Ha-yul rarely moved her lips or tongue to speak. Having lost her voice, she used the vibrations of her Aura instead.

The sound wasn’t natural, it carried the awkward cadence of a limp.

“But I can’t pass it on. None of it. The fact that I had such wonderful days... that you, as the Undertaker, the man who scolded me for being suspicious when we first met in the basement, used up countless cycles to stay with me... I can’t convey that to the next me. None of it.”

“That’s not true.” Gently, I rested my cheek on the top of her head and said, “Every expression you made, every smile, every breath—they’re etched into my soul with perfect clarity.”

“......”

“When you choked Jung Sang-guk in a fit of rage and killed him, I’ll still remember how beautiful your smile could be.”

“......”

“I’ll remember how hard you worked to master Aura, how brightly you laughed at my pranks, how proud you looked when you took your first steps on your own, every bit of it. Not a single thing will be forgotten.”

“......”

“So even if, by some chance, you set the world on fire, no matter what happens, I’ll always be on your side.”

“......”

“Forever.”

The waves surged again.

I wanted to tell Ha-yul how grateful I was. To tell her that my heart, worn down by endless cycles, had healed slightly during our adventures across the world.

After Infinite Void confessed to me in the language of "I love you," I found my heart kept searching for answers.

What could Infinite Void have meant when speaking of love?

Was it the love one feels when gazing at something beautiful? Was it agape, the devotion one offers to another? Was it erotic love? Perhaps it was love indistinguishable from friendship, or perhaps a possessive desire to leave an indelible mark on the other person?

Does the distinction even matter?

The definition of love—whether it is shocking, pleasant, or transcendent—always converges on one conclusion:

When for the sake of love, humans are willing to set aside their lives, if only for a short while. It was a bygone conclusion from the moment the feeling took root, for human nature is love itself.

You were me, and I was you.

The reason I was born as an infinite regressor must have been to place countless lives on hold for love.

“Ha-yul, I love you.”

“......”

For a long moment, only the waves spoke into the air.

“Undertaker.”

“Yes.”

“Oppa.”

“Yes.”

“Dad.”

Ha-yul clung tightly to me.

“When I’m reborn... Mm. Even if I’m reborn, I want to ride on your shoulders, see the sea like this, and... and play with you again.”

The ocean lapped gently against my chest.

At the edge of the world, a single breath was all it took for the waves to travel from one end to the other.

“So... tell the next me.”

Ha-yul (夏律).

A child whose name meant “the rhythm of summer,” smiled faintly.

“Tell her... I was truly the happiest person in the world.”

And as always, I was the happiest regressor in the world.

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