Why Did I Become the Villainess?

Chapter 407: : Stay



I look at the closed door of my office and heave a sigh. A few hours have passed already after the conversation I had with Rufus, yet here I am, still not over with what happened.

It's over. My friendship with Rufus has already ended. After today, we will treat each other as strangers.

This is what I want. To break my friendship with him, yet my heart couldn't stop complaining about my decision. It wants me to take it back. But my mind is telling me no.

I've been having an internal conflict for hours now, but I still haven't settled it. I slump my head on my table and groan.

Why does being a villainess so difficult? Why can't I just live like Princess Paislee do? All she had to think about was how to protect Prince Fraser, but here I am, facing problems every now and then.

"Why did I become the villainess? Why??" I mumble to myself. However, I was startled when a voice answered me.

"Maybe because of your mean personality."

I immediately look up and find Brother Pascal walking toward me with a bag in his hand. "Brother? What are you doing here?"

He then raised his hand that was holding the bag and showed it to me. "Aunt ask me to bring this to you. She has prepared your favorite snacks. Lilla sent her a letter early this day saying that you couldn't focus at work. So, Aunt asks me to come here to give it to you and to check on you. And it seems like what Lilla said is true. You are really not in the right mind to work. You should have stayed in the house if you were like this. You are just making everyone worried about you." He then shakes his head. I don't know if it's because of disappointment or something else.

But if I stay in the house, I will just end up thinking about the conversation I had with Prince Fraser, added to the conversation I had with Rufus earlier. I don't think my mind could bear that.

I was startled when Brother put the bag down on the table. "Here, you should eat something first. I heard that his highness, Prince Rufus, visited you today. Is everything okay between the two of you?"

I look at Brother Pascal and frown. I thought he didn't care about me anymore?

He probably noticed my confusion. He shakes his head and takes a deep breath before he sits on the vacant seat in front of my table. "Don't look at me like that. I was only mad at you for what you are doing recently, but it doesn't mean that I don't care about you, Csille. Of course, I still care about you. Do you really think I will hate you forever?"

I looked at Brother Pascal, and a sudden thought appeared in my mind. A thought of him dying on the battlefield.

I feel my hand tremble, and my eyes moisten because of that. I don't understand why I think of that, but I know there is a big chance it will happen in the future.

"Brother, if the war comes, will you join the army? Will you fight for the Kingdom?"

Brother Pascal looks startled by my question. He frowns and just stares at me. "Why did you ask?"

I shake my head. "I just want to know."

He got silent for a moment. He was probably thinking things. "Of course, I will. Even if I am not the heir of the Lauretré family, I am still part of it. Haven't our ancestors pledged their life for the safety of the Kingdom? I would do the same. If a war would happen in the future, I will fight with Uncle."

I felt my energy get sucked out of my body when I heard what he said. I know more than anyone else that there is a big chance that he might end up losing his life in the war.

And if the Lauretré family loses him, it will be the end for the Lauretré. Csille will disassociate herself from the family while Brother Pascal will die. Who can continue the lineage of the Lauretré family if something happened to him?

I cannot let that happen!

"Brother, can you not come with Father? Can you stay with Mother when the war comes?"

Brother frowns and shakes his head. "How can I stay here doing nothing? I might look like I don't know anything about going to war but let me remind you that I was once trained to be the heir of the Lauretré family, and that includes intensive training for times like this. So, how can I stay here knowing that the whole Kingdom is in jeopardy? Also, why are you asking that question? Don't you trust his majesty? I'm sure he would make a decision that will be good for the Kingdom."

Will he? After what I have told him, will he really agree to comply with the Aeslaerean's demands?

I shake my head. "I know, Brother, but that is just hypothetical thinking. What if the war will soon break out? Can you not join the war? I'm worried about you."

He raised his eyebrow at me. I can also see that his lips are quirking. "You are worried about me? That is new."

I heave a sigh. Can't he see that I am serious here? "Brother, I am serious. What if you got injured in the war? What will happen to the Lauretré family?"

He just stares at me. "What do you mean by your question? Do you really think I am a weakling who cannot even protect myself?"

I shake my head. He doesn't understand what I am trying to say, doesn't he? I am not saying this because I look down on his abilities. I know he is great with swords and weapons. So, how can I doubt his abilities?

I am saying this because I am worried that the Lauretré lineage will end on us. So, I want to at least have him stay in the Capital. One of us should be saved, and I know it's not me.

"Brother, you don't understand. You are the only hope of the Lauretré Family. As you know, it will be difficult for me to have a new marriage. So, the responsibility of continuing our lineage depends on you. So, can you please not join the war?"

Brother Pascal frowns. It looks like he doesn't like what I have said. "Csille, why are you saying things like this? Yeah, your engagement with Prince Fraser got canceled, but it doesn't mean that it is the end of you. Do you know how many gentlemen out there has a crush on

you?"

I smile sadly. "Brother, that was before. After his highness canceled his engagement with me, everything changed. Who would like to get engaged with someone who was rejected by the Crown Prince? Doesn't it imply something about my character?"

Brother Pascal got silent. He probably realizes that what I am saying is true. That my chances of finding possible candidates as my fiancée decreases.

"But Csille, you are- "

I shake my head and cut him off. "Brother, you don't have to say anything. The moment Prince Fraser decided to cancel my engagement with him, I already knew it would be difficult for me to find a suitable partner for marriage. It's the reason why I want you to stay here. You are the only hope of the Lauretré family. So, how can I let you join that war? Father will already join the war. Do you want to leave us alone? We need you here, Brother. Mother and I need you here. So, can you please stay?"

I only said we, but I already know Mother is the one who will need Brother Pascal the most. I need him to stay in the capital because I am sure that once the Aeslaerean Kingdom declares war on the Vrawyth Kingdom, I am already on the opposite side.

It's one of my reasons why I want him to stay in the capital, so he can be with Mother. Because I know Mother will be the one who will suffer the most by that time. Brother Pascal got silent for a moment. He was probably weighing things. He then stares at me and heaves a sigh. "I cannot promise, Csille. You know that the monarchy needs people who are well versed in fighting, and I don't know if I care bear to stay here. Knowing that there are hundreds or even thousands of Vrawyth people who will sacrifice their lives for the Vrawyth Kingdom. So, I cannot be sure if I can make your request."Nôv(el)B\\jnn

I shake my head. No! I need to make sure he will stay in the capital. "But, Brother, what about us? What about Mother? What if something happened to her while you were there? You do know how the Aeslaerean Kingdom works. They wouldn't hesitate to launch an attack inside the capital while you were busy fighting some of their troupes. Will you let Mother alone?"

I only mentioned Mother because I know I won't need his saving. Why would I need him if I am already siding with the Aeslaerean Kingdom?

He stared at me before I heard him sigh. "You really want me to stay here, don't you? How can I say no if you already mentioned Aunt's safety." He shakes his head. "I will do my best to stay here then. For you and Aunt's sake."

I hold his hand that is resting on my table and hold it tightly. "Really, Brother? You would do

that?"

He just nods his head at me as a response. I give him a wide smile to show how happy I am with his decision.

Thank goodness, I thought I still needed to convince him for an hour or two. Now, that

Brother Pascal can stay in the capital. I can now be assured that nothing can happen to him.

I'm sorry, Brother. I lied. I am doing this because I don't want anything bad to happen to you. You are not supposed to exist in this world, and I'm sure if you join the army to fight against the Aeslaerean Kingdom, that will be the end of you.

After Brother Pascal visited me, I decided to take a break from working. My mind couldn't focus on my work, so it was useless for me to stay in the office.

So, I decided to take some breather at the riverside. It's a good thing no one was there when I arrived. I can have this place for myself which is good because this is what I need the most. A time for myself. A time to rethink about my choices in life as Csille Lauretré.

I look at the sky and close my eyes. I just want to feel the cold breeze gently touching my face.

As if it was comforting me with all the problems I have right now.

I smile bitterly at myself. How long can I endure staying here? How long can I endure taking

everything on my own?

I felt tears start to fall from my eyes, but I didn't bother wiping them off. No one is around, so I don't need to hide anymore.

I don't need to hide all my feelings I keep inside of me-the anxieties, nightmares, worries, problems, and everything. I feel so exhausted already.

I just want to go home. I just want to return to how I used to be-that poor author who

couldn't make a daily living with my works.

Even if my life isn't as glamorous as Csille's, at least I don't have to worry about these

problems.

Why am I the one chosen to be part of this? I don't want this anymore. Everything hurts, and I

don't know how long I can bear to continue hurting not just myself but the people around me

too.

"I'm really tired. I don't want this anymore. So, please take me back. I want to come back home," I mumbled to myself.